Second Hand Clogging
Ubermilf's comments about the dangers of second hand clogging was dead on accurate - annoying sound, grotesque appearance, damage to sidewalks - and it got me thinking. Why don't we have a law against clogs? Oh those freakin' clog lovers would be against it, but there are way too many reasons that the damn things are a public menace.
In addition to Ubermilf's stunningly accurate observations, I'd like to offer up the following for reasons all clogs should be burned immediately:
- temporary insanity caused by clippity cloppity sound
- insurance premiums rising due to clog related beatings
- arrest of innocent victims like myself just for beating violence provoking clog wearers
- some men think it's okay to wear them - need I say more?
- parents who perpetuate the cycle of clog abuse and give their children clogs
- those clogs with the strap on the heal that try to masquerade as non-clogs (now they're trying to disguise themselves so they can be accepted in the regular shoe world!!??)
- boys whose parents emasculate them by putting them in clogs
- hearing loss in clog filled living areas
- clogs are incredibly ugly and just plain ridiculous
- damage to heads of clog wearers
- damage to property in vicinity of clog wearers
- clog wearers aren't careful where their shoes might fly during a fight
- arrogance of clog wearers when told their shoes are stupid
- your clog to the back of your head
- my fist, your face
Have a heart, stop messing with the children, and get off your god damn clogs!!
posted by John, clog hater @ 5:28 AM
10 Comments by Clog Haters
Where's the petition? I'll sign!
This issue is being ignored by our negligent media. Thank goodness for concerned and dedicated citizens like you trying to protect us. You're a hero.
although you've listed several very convincing reasons as to why clogs are and should be forever banned from society... and i hate them as much as the next fashion conscious citizen who understands that men and sandles don't mix especially (hence the horrific term mandles *shudder*)
whats with the clog hating obsession?
you aren't closet clog wearer are you? *innocent quetion*
Whoa...dude....me thinks you wear clogs!!!! Whatcha gonna do about it tough guy huh??? Whatcha gonna do?? Change your name to John, Clog Wearer? Huh??
Hey it's my birthday today come pcik me up around 8.
What the hell, Calzone? Do you think I'm just going to drive you around town every time it's your birthday, especially after you stole my car last weekend? You still haven't paid me for the damage....I'll see you tonight.
Thank god for women like Ubermilf who understand that clogs are a public menace and ought to be treated as such. God damn clogs making such a racket. It about drives me mad!
And then there are women like the oddly named "me" who say they hate clogs, but then ask their supposedly innocent questions. "ooo John, you hate clogs a little too much. You must really love them and pretend to hate them because it's unmanly."
Don't try to con me, sister! That question is about as innocent as a clog strapped to the heal of a teenage boy! Take your clog baiting comments and kick them to the sun.... Hey, that's what we can do with all the clogs!
We'll put all the clogs in the world and their clog making machines into a space ship and shoot it to the sun, which will disintegrate it. Problem solved by a clog hater - take that Mr. and Mrs. Pro-clog lover!!
I saw a woman wearing clogs. She flaunted them by wearing capri pants.
I thought I lived in a safe neighborhood.
gees...
clogs.
woah...
sorry man... you are dedicated to hating them so hate on...
Clogs with capri's?!?! Damn it! That might even be worse than clogs with shorts. I hope you pelted her with rocks, because that's the only way she'll learn.
Yup, I hate clogs and I'm damn proud of that fact. I'm leading the clog revolution, baby!
there's a man in my office who wears clogs.
he also refuses to pay taxes and use his social security number. i'm pretty sure that by using him as evidence, we could get Bushie to declare clogs "unamerican."
Ok, so I guess I need to stand up for my clogs. I can't help it. I love them. I would never have bought them, but I was ginormously pregnant and needed shoes that I could put on without bending over (and something to cover my toes for occasions when flip flops wouldn't be ok). And they are rubber-soled, so they don't make much noise.
But I would NEVER wear them with capri pants. Heck, I refuse to wear capri pants ever.
And I would never make anyone wear them. Or wear them with socks. Ick.
you guys are completely right. clogs really do suck. i am right now with a bunch of clog lovers. i feel at home with you guys. i would like to burn some clogs too. it is cold outside and i think that it is the best thing to do with clogs. they are like bad currency.. the best thing to do is to burn it.
long live leather shoes
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